I'll tell you one and then u tell me one, okay?
Here we go: (WARNING, CONTAINS MILD RUDENESS. IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE JOKE IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!)
John was after a baby with his wife but he couldn't get one. he decided to get his sperm checked out. his doctor gives him a tub and says "give return with your sample by tomorrow please". so John goes home.
when he gets there he says "I'm just going to do this jar thing" and goes into his room.
He tries with his left hand
He tries with his right hand
He tries with both hands
Nothing.
His wife came in and said "John what are you doing? oh, let me try"
She tries with her left hand
She tries with her right hand
She tries with both hands
Nothing happened again.
John's mother was staying and she came in and said "What are you two doing? oh, give it here jelly arms"
She tries with her left hand
She tries with her right hand
She tries with both hands
All three try together
Nothing happens yet again.
Finally John shouts "STOP, I NEED SOME PRIVACY, I'LL GO INTO THE GARAGE TO DO IT!!!!!!"
He goes into the garage and finds an adjustable spanner. he thinks "Hmmm that might work". It did. the lid of the jar came off in a jiffy
Icky, but cute.
Knock-Knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrup—
MOO!
It's funnier when you do it to an unsuspecting victim.
Q: What did the Wicked Witch of East LA say when Dorothy's house landed on her?
A: get off me, homes.
